USC vs OSU

We’ve seen and heard just about everyone’s analysis of the USC / Ohio State matchup on the field but what we haven’t seen or heard much about are the off the field matchups that are most important to us. Things like…

Comedian Alumni
Will Ferrell (USC) vs. Richard Lewis (Ohio State)
Yeah, um, Richard Lewis has had some moments on Curb Your Enthusiasm, but Ferrell gave us Anchorman. This is pretty much the equivalent of the USC/Virginia opener. Edge: USC

Pro Wrestling Dads
Legion of Doom’s Animal (Ohio State) vs. The Rocker’s Marty Jannetty (USC)
We all know Ohio State linebacker James Laurinaitis’s dad is Animal from Legion of Doom, but what few people realize is that USC linebacker Rey Maualuga’s dad is actually Marty Jannetty of the Rockers…
OK, we made that second part up. But seriously, how Asome would it be for Animal to be your dad? Edge: Ohio State

Hot Actress Alumni
Sophia Bush (USC) vs. Patricia Heaton (Ohio State)
Sure, Patricia Heaton has a little cougar to her, but we’d flood a nursing home if Sophia Bush asked us to. Edge: USC

Greatest Golfers
Jack Nicklaus (Ohio State) vs. The Stadlers (USC)
As ridiculously awesome as we think Craig and Kevin Stadler are, it might be viewed as a bit of a stretch if we took them over Jack. Edge: Ohio State

Tailgating Eye Candy
USC
vs. Ohio State
The members of Team Cool & Tough debated long and hard over this one. Friendships may have been lost, but in the end…Edge: USC

Stadiums
The Coliseum vs. The Horseshoe
From a completely objective perspective, almost impossible to argue for one over the other. If we took the fact that the Shoe is located in Ohio into perspective it might be another story, but…Edge: Draw

WAGs of Current NFL Players
Laura Quinn (Hawk?) vs. Kim Kardashian

In one corner you you have AJ Hawk’s wife (and Brady Quinn’s sister), Laura Quinn. And in the other corner you have vacuous waste-of-space Kim Kardashian, the NFL’s version of Yoko Ono (or is that Jessica?). What a tough call. Slight edge: Ohio State.

Messed Up Former Running Backs
OJ Simpson (USC) vs. Maurice Clarett
Talk about a showdown. Maurice has certainly faced more consequences, but OJ had more going for him. Can you say movie career? Naked Gun 4 never happened because of that him. Edge: USC


And of course…
The Cheerleaders
The USC Song Girls
vs.
The Ohio State Cheerleading Squad
The Song Girls will take down pretty much any competition across the nation, but when the guy/girl ratio in your 08-09 cheerleading squad photo is lopsided in favor of the dudes you’re pretty much disqualified. Massive Edge: USC