Failure to Launch Part 2

So after temping for a year, Bravo impulsively decided to get a master's degree in teaching -- in the hope that an advanced degree would be the ticket to a better life. Instead, she racked up another $70,000 in student debt and discovered she doesn't have the stomach to be an elementary-school teacher after all.Now, living at home, Bravo says she knows dozens of young people who are doing the same thing, most of them struggling to save money, get a grip on debt or come up with some kind of viable career plan.Bravo has decided to focus on her ballroom dancing skills and become a professional dance teacher. "They can make $70 or $80 an hour," she says.
Lack of preparation Nicole Relyea laughs pretty hard at the idea that anyone might believe 20-somethings move back home as a cushy exit ramp from life's pressures. "Right, right, it's much easier trying to live with your parents, looking over your shoulder all the time," she jokes.
The real problem, she says, is that college students need more preparation to deal with the drastic shifts that life demands of them after graduation, both financially and career-wise.
"You think, six months ago I had a great on-campus job and social life. Now, I'm living at home, I have two friends and no academic stimulation for the first time in 20 years -- sitting in the basement, surfing the Internet, looking for work," Relyea says. "It's like, wow, I was just studying the cultural history of aborigines and now I'm looking at jobs where the main duties are answering the phone and typing.
"How are you supposed to make that shift? It's really something nobody prepares you for."
Relyea herself struggled to find a job after graduating in 2004 with $15,000 in student loans. She moved back home to save money and, like Bravo, she temped for more than a year. She finally landed a full-time position with a nonprofit in her hometown of Madison, Wis.
Still, her $26,000 salary barely covered rent, living expenses and $160 in monthly student-loan payments. She also was studying to get her certificate in massage therapy and weighing graduate school.
"The graduate degree would be for me, because I like school," she says, "but the massage-therapy certification might be the most useful thing I have."
Real-life solutions Because it's Hollywood, the parents in "Failure to Launch" can hire a sexy consultant (Sarah Jessica Parker) to help get their reluctant son to move out -- and give the audience a lot of laughs.
But "Quarterlifer's Companion" co-authors Abby Wilner and Cathy Stocker worry that the mooching-off-mom-and-dad stereotype is getting more attention than the real issue: Most new grads need some helping making a realistic financial plan. Here are some steps:
Put aside preconceptions. Parents may assume that colleges provide seniors with some kind of exit strategy, but that's not the case, says Relyea. "Nobody says, 'Okay, today we're going to learn how to write a cover letter.'"
There are on-campus career talks and seminars, of course, but harried seniors don't always realize the importance of making time for those, Relyea adds.
Provide senior orientation. Start by helping your adult children recognize that things are going to be different now and ask them questions.
Six months before graduation, for example, ask about credit-card and student-loan debt. "You don't want to stress them out," says Stocker, "but you can say, 'Let's make a game plan together.'"
Offer financial training wheels. Wilner and Stocker recommend that parents and 20-somethings take advantage of the fact that living at home can be a kinder, gentler financial learning environment.
New grads "can chip in with some of the monthly bills, so you get hang of bill paying," suggests Wilner. "This is also a good time to form a budget. Monitor your spending. Keep receipts. Get a realistic idea of what you spend and how to manage it."
Stocker adds that parents can encourage saving by offering to "match" a portion of whatever their 20-something socks away.


Easy ways to save money nowGot 20 minutes? That's all it takes to put $2,500 in your back pocket, according to one expert.Discuss expectations on both sides. While everyone I spoke to for this article stressed that living with the folks can be a smart financial move, without a clear plan or a deadline for finding a job, the situation can backfire.
To prevent nest-induced inertia, "The Quarterlifer's Companion" offers a contract that helps both parties define the terms of shared living conditions, including how the new "roommate" is going to contribute to the household; what his or her goals are; and when he or she might move out.
Both parties review the contract every three months, say, to evaluate progress and make any needed adjustments.
Show, don't tell. While it may be tempting to push your 20-something toward a job ("Let me introduce you to my friend Marv in accounting"), allow your adult child to hold the job-hunting reins.
But do provide the same kind of networking advice you might to a friend. Relyea says the most helpful thing her mother did was to take her to networking events and professional lunches, where eventually Relyea met a contact who led to her current job.

By MP Dunleavey